Aligned Goal Setting: How to Create a Life That Truly Feels Right
We’ve all heard about goal setting—SMART goals, vision boards, shortcuts to success — but how often do we actually stop and ask ourselves: Do these goals truly align with who I am and what I want from life?
For years, I approached goal-setting as an intellectual process—listing objectives, creating action plans, checking boxes. It worked… to an extent. But often the excitement soon wore off and I really had to push myself to keep going. I was achieving things, yet there was a lingering sense of disconnection, I often felt like I ‘should’ be doing the things I wrote down in my plan to achieve my goals, rather than I ‘want’ to do these things.
I had an ‘Aha’ moment when I realized: Goal-setting isn’t just a brain exercise; it’s a full-body experience. It needs to feel right in your gut, resonate in your heart, and make sense in your mind. When our goals are truly aligned—when they reflect our deepest values and authentic desires—we stop forcing ourselves to chase after them. Instead, we’re naturally pulled toward them.
What Do You REALLY Want?
Forget what society says. Forget what your parents, your friends, or even your past self think you should do.
If you pause, really look inside, what is coming up?
Ask yourself: What do I REALLY, REALLY want?
Not what looks good on paper. Not what sounds impressive. But what genuinely excites you— what makes your soul light up and your body relax into certainty at the same time.
There is a difference between a goal which is set by ego versus a goal set by your authentic self.
Ego-driven goals often come from external validation. They sound good, but they don’t necessarily feel good. They bring excitement, but also stress, pressure, and a nagging sense of unfulfillment. Often the focus is a lot on the outcome (e.g. earning so much money, having such an such title) and less about the process which will get you there.
Authentic goals feel right. They bring a sense of calm certainty. They may still be big and ambitious, but instead of feeling forced, they feel inevitable. You know then even if you don’t achieve these big goals, you will learn so much and experience fun and fullfilment on your way there, so that one way or the other it was worth the journey. Because it will definitely bring you closer to who you really are.
“You can have anything you want, you just have to really want it.” (Barabara Banks)
At first this might sound like one of these typical motivational ‘You can have it all’ statements. But this is different, at least to my mind. You need to really want something from a place of truth, a deep desire residing in you and not from a superficial place of ‘that would be nice’ or ‘this would look good’. When you really want something from the inside out, then it will allow you to move mountains.
The Power of Alignment: Gut, Heart & Mind
True goal alignment happens at the intention point — the crossroads between body and mind. When your goals align with your values, your deepest desires, and the person you truly are, everything shifts:
Less stress, anxiety, and overwhelm – No more forcing things that don’t feel right.
More motivation and energy – No need for constant willpower; you’re naturally drawn toward your goal.
Better physical and emotional well-being – Alignment reduces resistance, which reduces stress, which supports overall health.
When we are in alignment, we flow, rather than fight. And that changes everything.
How to Set Goals That Align With YOU
Here are a few ways to ensure your goals are truly aligned with your authentic self:
Check in with your body – Does this goal make you feel expansive and excited, or does it make your chest tighten with pressure?
Ask yourself: Is this my ego speaking, or my true self? – If it’s driven by fear, status, or external validation, it’s likely ego. If it feels calm, right, and deeply fulfilling, it’s your true self.
Align with your values – Does this goal reflect the kind of person you want to be? Does it contribute to the life you actually want?
Think big, but don’t feel constrained – Goals should be exciting and motivating, not rigid and stressful. They are a direction, not a prison.
Final Thoughts
We spend so much of our lives setting and chasing goals. But if we’re not careful, we can climb the wrong ladder, only to realize too late that it was never leaning against the right wall.
When you set goals from a place of deep alignment—when you check in with your gut, heart, and mind—you’ll find that life starts working with you, instead of you having to fight for every step.
So, what do YOU REALLY, REALLY want?
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Credits:
Parts of this post were inspired by the book The Source, by Dr. Tara Swart.